To my twenty-two year old, we are exactly where we need to be.

Dear twenty-two year old,

This is me, you, two years later. A twenty-four year old version of you who writes this note on a working desk. Today was a quiet day at work, and that's a luxury. To be able to sit and think clearly, pondering about life in general in a soundproof comfy environment. There are no loud co-workers or nosy parents. But no one has to know that I am actually slacking today at work.

You are probably in the crossroad of your life and you feel so many things right know--inspired, angry, sad--you are afraid to admit that you are lost. That's okay. I am going to tell you,

you are exactly where you need to be.

Over the weekend, we have just accomplished one thing: publishing our book. Yes, your book. It is independent, but we have gotta start somewhere. I know you really want to be big or majorly published, but let me tell you that you are not going to regret this decision. You will live in the moment where DIY rules and you'll save enough money to print few copies of your book.

I believe, independent and major, it depends on how content and happy you are with what you wrote. For me yes, the birth of Tigress (not Tigress the animal, but Tigress your book), will remind me so much about our journey, our forgotten strength and over-magnified weakness. The birth of Tigress is a record, that you have done big things and you will achieve more, if you keep trusting your gut, work in silent, be kind and humble and believe in that dream.

Remember about the time when your parents really push you into working in a traditional corporate environment? They will never stop. They will still push you to do things that they think are important, even though you have proved yourself  by fulfilling one of your big dreams.

Parents will be just be parents.

Your mother?

She will live close to you. Yes, she is close to you in Palembang but she lives even closer to you when you are 24. But I believe, it is for the best. Not everyone in their adult life can spend time with their parents. Yes your parents will make horrendous comment about your job, your love life and whatever... LGBT and Islam. They will likely be standing on the opposite side from you.

She will tell you, not to date a writer, just because "I don't need another artsy member of the family. My grandchildren will be artsy and eccentric. I do not want that."

Yeah, but you will learn to cope with those kind of comments. I think what you do is open one ear, and close another. Note, you are still learning though.


I know how bad you want to be a copywriter, until you learn that copywriter is in the bottom of creative hierarchy in the agency life. But that's alright. As long as you write and make money. Because you don't know what you can do best other than writing... I think we agree of that ever since your birth.

And oh yea, you will get tons of rejection and you will have the darkest mark on your professional resume--you will get fired, once. Hopefully, only once in your lifetime, and only stupid people will fire you. It will teach you a thing or two.  This one is totally not your fault. Trust me, you will be directed for better opportunity and once again I say

you are exactly where you need to be.

Don't feel bad.


I am sorry but I cannot find you the answer for this. But all I know, if you keep dwelling about the past, you will stay forever hurt. The guy you adored so much, won't look at you after 1 new girlfriend and getting back with his old flame. That is really suck.

Oh yea, please background check before you decided to have a fling or a date a guy. But totally, some men are jerks and they only think with their penis heads.

You will meet interesting men in your life. You will attract and be attracted to some of them. It still is a beautiful feeling I suppose, to await for your true love.

I tell you twenty two, right now, everything feels like falling into the right place... But I am also prepared for the worst.

So I would like to thank your strength for putting up with this mess.

we are exactly where we need to be.

and it is not over yet...

I don't know what will I be like tomorrow. Will our thirty-year-old write to us and say how dumb our decision is? Will our forty-year old be bitter because her one true love hasn't come yet?

I have no idea.

But I do believe we are exactly where we need to be.

Everything feels right, but you have to trade it with your weight though. I gain back the 10 kgs we lost from Muay Thai class. But it is okay, there are dresses and your make-up game is slowly acing.

We are fine.

twenty four.


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