The New Romantic Anxiety
Isn't it such a shame that you are so hopeless and desperate to find the love of your life? It seems like everybody has gotten their acts together. Your friends start sending wedding invitations and your ex is taking a serious step into his/her next relationship. It seems like everyone is capable of breaking relationships and find a new rebound in minutes. While, you are still single.
It sucks really. It really sucks to be you. Secretly, you're jealous how fluid they are in taking control of their lives and relationship.You always wonder when your love is coming. It is not that you do not even try to put yourself out there. You have sent so many signals to your crush yet he misses every single one of it. You've been out for a date just to take a chance. You don't want to get your heart broken so you take a step back. So, you spend your night stalking your ex, your almost boyfriends and your casual hookups to check what are they up to.
Your pride is hurt. You start feeling insecure about yourself. About your body, about your work. You really want to make the most of your single life but you just don't know how.
Finally, you realize that loneliness is real. It slowly lurks into your life. You would never care about having a boyfriend/girlfriend, having your family and good friends are enough. You can take care of yourself and you are independent on your own. It seems like you don't miss anything, you have a job that pays well, you are doing your hobbies... but there is just something missing.
You begin to wonder what is this that you are feeling right now. You used to be content about having a single life. You don't need boyfriends /girlfriends to complete you, but now, it feels like you almost do. You need it desperately.
You've heard too much of everything--'don't worry the right one is coming soon' or 'you need to start loving yourself, make the most of your single life and explore yourself.'
All these cliches.
You wonder if this is a feeling you must fight, accept or you must ignore.
Maybe this is just a sign of the new romantic anxiety.
But I say, don't fight it.
I do feel the same way about most of the 20s something do. I post miserably 'single' writings. I check on my crush's and my past's daily activities on social media looking for a sign if they ever thinking about me (but mostly not). I can get very bitter about other's relationship life, looking at how effortlessly it seems to bloom.
I am well aware that I am doing good things for myself. I start to dress up, I pursue my hobby and interest, I spend times hanging with my friends or meeting my date... that's for me. I feel good, but after all pursuing all of these activities that are meant for my betterment, still, love is just never around the corner.
Possibly? Would it be timing? What is it?
I guess it is only natural to feel this way. It is only natural to channel your hopeless romantic. To be in love and to be carried by your romantic fantasy. I say, hold on to your ideal. If you have a crush, pursue it. For women, don't be shy to make the first move but don't put any expectation.
After all, it is okay to be desperately or miserably in love as long as it is not stopping you from doing you. You don't wanna be that person who's always latching on somebody else's presence. You don't wanna be the person who does not know how to be single--you must know how to be single!
So, you know at the end, you want a relationship that will last. You do not want to date just for the sake of 'because everyone is doing it.' Instead, you want to be in a relationship that motivates you to become a better person.
Avoid the drama. Maybe all the waiting and the heartbreaks will be totally worth it once you find yourself and your true match. When you hold on to your patience, ideal and self-betterment.
Can I get an amen?