Angry Girl

So y'all, I have been accused of being angry too much on Path.  Path it is a social media that most Indonesians nowadays are using for communication.  It is like mini, portable Facebook where every user may share their shameless counts of selfies and mirages of their fab social life.  (It is not getting better)  I do not really like to post regularly, but when I do, I write long post.  Some kind of spoken-wordy types of thought.  Very transparent and provoking at the same time.  I always post them midnight, because since working in an agency, my sleeping pattern has been going backwards, and I guess, my poetic soul awakes at midnight.  Path was supposed an intimate social media that only allows 100 friends to befriend one user, but now it has increased to 500.  I was pretty selective when it comes to add friends in Path.  Because I know I will rant a lot, but actually, I do not want to bother about it right?  Everytime a co-worker asks me if they can add me in Path, I would always say "Follow me at your own risk"

I mean, yea, Path was a comfortable platform for venting out.  But then I had a recent post that was rather strong and provoking.  The next day, people were approaching me, "What were you angry about on Path last night?", "Ayu, are you okay?"  They mean it sweetly though, because the ones who asked me that question were friends that are good, but they have not been used to see my writing, my offline and online behavior.  I admit, I am very serious in words, but when you see me in person, I am like going out of control.  I am just a childish 23-year-old girl with blue hair and headstrong opinion.  I see, why they are getting worried though, but it may only mean that they just purely care

Actually I am happy to finally able to arrange the emotion in words like below... #yeayspokenword

An angry girl,
Is used to collect scars in silence
Is used to seek forgiveness in other's fine judgement
Is used to hug herself everynight
Holding whichever part of her, broken, back and bound together
Because she has trouble trusting anyone but herself

An angry girl,
Her passive voice is often mistaken as a self-destruction, self-made violence
Let her words disturb your night
Like the howl of nocturnal animal
Resounding into a hollow midnight sky
Consider this,
Either her words rip your serenity before you go to sleep
Or a bedtime story

An angry girl,
Has always in a hurry
No one should ask her to
ever apologize for her brutal, loud honesty
She cannot go quiet
Need no rescue
Need no pity
But only space to roam with her overcomplicated thought
Taking-off into the height of the moon up there
Just be alone with the stars
She only wants to observe the dark closely and make peace

An angry girl,
Is a locked room with a sign "do not disturb"
Is a person who is quietly crafting fantasies
A close friend and good daughter but leaves a personal space alone only to herself


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