Being an introvert
The video above is taken from TED event at Long Beach, 2012. Author Susan Cain is talking about being an introvert and the struggle that comes with it.
I believe that I am not the only one who feels related to the talk. You have no idea how much I have been told to "come out of your shell" and it frustrates me. Somehow I feel like people are directing me on advice so aggressively, and I find it no where empowering. Maybe I am reluctant to critiques... and I am tired of saying, "maybe it is just me" and agreeing that I am a problem. (When everyone else think they are right ; when will I get the chance to be right too? )
I guess I am just an introvert. I like to contemplate and have a deep sensitive feeling. I do think before I talk in order not to upset others. I know this attitude brings negative outcomes. For most of the time, I am so polite that no one finds me intimidating. People say whatever they want to me, because they think I will not have some kind of reaction. But it is not true at all. I process everything quietly in my head because I would like to stay out of conflicts. I do not even bother to explain the unexplainable to others, because we are in a different level of understanding. It is a waste of time and real relationship breaker. I think about what the long-term effect rather than the short-term effect. Or maybe that is the reason why I was called "an overthinker"... which was what this blog was called . One of my friend commented, "Why would you name your blog the overthinker?" I answered. "Yes, because I am an overthinker." She answered. "That is why you do not name your blog with that!"
It is strange how I find my introversion as a strength, but others see it as a weakness.
However, remembering all the old days, I was very quiet and awkward as a student. However, I have walked so far and somehow I am also showing some extrovert traits. I am less anxious of a possibility of facing a conflict or having haters, because somehow a conflict must have happened to make things going.
I am opening up because I know that I cannot afford to be silent in a world where everybody talks, and sometimes... where some talk about shits, like they master everything and I cannot stand being outsmarted by a less knowledgable view or some kind of bollocks. People thinks that their opinion matters like gold... so why can I have the same equal opportunity to speak too? Why can I not eliminate the fear of being corrected or dictated?
Susan Cain's Quiet and her TED talk have motivated me to a whole new level of being an introvert. In previous experiences I was told to speak up more and louder. It is not that I am not trying or not bothering too. I have tried. But I am tired of being told of not loud enough. I am trying hard to be out there, be in the present... sometimes I enjoy it but sometimes I do not.
Anyway I guess, in conclusion, I should have told anyone who I have affected with this behavior to make a way for a compromise. Introverts need to be a lot of more open, and extroverts... please let us a chance to speak and say your words softly.... because everyone knows you are tired of talking and convincing the world how important you are. We are equally intelligent and silly.
The Naked Soul