2014 is...

Hey hey,

It has been 16 days after my last post.  It is a sunny Friday Morning in Palembang.  I am sitting here on my desk, next to the window and election news is on broadcast.  I am feeling like Beyonce (Irreplacable Beyonce), doing what I love (which is blog-writing) in my black bra and high waisted skirt.  I feel good, sexy and liberated.  I am happy to feel this way because there are sad days where I felt a little or so much lost.  So, I am writing this post to remind myself how great and full of mistake this year has been.  (I thought about this idea while I was taking a bath few minutes ago) 2014 has been halfway done anyway so here it is

TO 2014

The year I first made love, interpret it the way you want
(Okay) The year I made love with a wrong guy
The year I confessed to a crush
The year I went to a poetry workshop, wrote a poem and joined my first slam
The year I performed my poetry in several gigs in KL, 4 times
The year I wrote many poetries... so many of it
The year I was invited to Hari Belia... but I was unable to make it
The year some of the poetries were submitted and accepted as a part of publication and anthology
The year I re-connected with many of my old friend
The year I quitted my job and hugged and shook hands with everybody at the office, to those who supported me and undermined me
The year of intellectual, creative abundance of inspiration
The year of emotional breakdown
The year I witnessed the biggest fight of all time, I am still keeping it a secret while gradually I healing myself and gaining my faith
The year I think some people owe me an apology
The year I learned to apologize and unhate
The year I learned to blame and hate
The year that I proved that silence is really is gold... and Pilates, yoga, relaxing instrumental by The Honest Guys are the temporary answer...
The year I listened to India.Arie's Songversation so many times it made me cry
The year my spirituality and religious view was challenged
The year I realized all these challenges and new things I learned are only a challenge to discover my roots of what I believe in
The year of overthinking
The year when all the CVs were send, cover letters written and applications were filled out only for rejection, rejection and rejection
The year I am struggling to restore my faith
The year I (again) think that I am never be good enough for everybody
The year I believed that I am too good for everybody, so screw them!
The year I learned that I will be doing what is good to me and makes myself feel happy
The year I subscribe to WordPorn quotes and got addicted to it
The year I was told that conviction is everything and a way of achievement
The year I learned Muay Thai, Pilates, and other absurd fitness activities that I have never thought I will and can do
The year I learned that sport is FUN!  Why did I hate sports back then?
The year I felt best in my own body that is still overweight and short, but I can now see shaped curves and reduced back fat... TMI...
The year I thought, "what is wrong with my country?"
The year I met inspiring people and remained friends
The year I (probably) fell nearly in love
The year I will keep on walking even though it is hard
The year I corrected the others
The year I am continuing to learn to correct myself
The year I am continuing to love myself, because who will?
and the list goes on!


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