It's hard out there...

I am not going to close one eye about an anti-feminist post that have been circulating on my social media pages.  I wonder how men really see feminism.  For them it is a cry for attention.  Well, for me, it is more than that.

I am a female, growing up in a very Eastern culture.  We are told to take care of the household, of ourselves before later we will take care of our own family.  We need to be submissive, subtle, you name it... Luckily, my family and especially parents, have never been suppressing me about that. I know that lots of my friend, girls who are at my ages, they have been asked about what their future plan will be.  Their marriage.  I always reply to my friends that, "you know, my parents ask me the same too."  When actually they didn't.  That is how so cool and chill my parents are.  They have granted me a chance to study and work abroad.  Even if it means to be here, as close as a neighboring country, KL, Malaysia.

Within 5 years of living here,  I have met many people that shares the same and opposite perspective as I do.  I had to admit that before this, I do not know how to value a women's worth. Believe me I used to be a person, a woman, who sees a rape case as something like has been caused or lured by a woman, maybe by her provocative dress.  I judged women easily by their smoking habits and sexual experience.  Simply, I was that conservative.

But now I learn as the time also progress, I am a different person.  I support every right of human being, men, women, gays, even animal rights.  I believe that we need to treat every living being well, because we are created equal by God.

Sometimes I do not understand, and I also am not trying to make everybody who shares different perspective to understand.

Recently, I found one social media status that roared about anti-feminism, anti-healthy lifestyle, and the poster, who is a male Masters candidate claimed that those people (feminist, non-smokers, non-drinkers) are hypocrite.

Before I move further, should I remind everybody that by posting thoughts online you are opening yourself for comment, critics or praise, and you are allowing other user to comment back... and by all means, if you feel like leaving a comment, the space below is yours.

I do not claim myself a feminist.  I have never been involved in any march, protest or any movement.  I am a moderate supporter of female right, or maybe, strong supporter.  However, I am not okay with that post. 

I mean, why would you feel hurt by seeing a feminist?  It is easy for men to judge us.  Feminism is not a cry for attention.  It is not a cry that a girlfriend gives when her boyfriends abandons her on Saturday night.  Nor it is a secret cry from a girl whenever she is reminded of her-ex over a lovesong.  Feminism is not instagram.

Feminism is real. It is empowerment for what is going on out there.  Although we have seen so many female breadwinner, but men are still getting bigger paycheck than women.  Sexual violence targets on female.  In most countries, female are still the second-class citizens.  Do I need to be specific about it?  It is there, happening, and people are closing one eye about it.

Though, I also do not like feminism movement that grows aggressive.  Because at the end, as a female, we all have nurturing, motherly nature.  We are built like that.  Sometimes us, female, we might find ourselves tinkering furniture and we have that talent to multitask.  Like I wanna say to all men, don't worry, we have our limit.  One day, we are bound as your wives and tend your children well.  Maybe you will find one or two women who have attitude, but that's personality.  I am addressing about biology and equality.  Men, themselves, should know their limits too.  They have to know how to approach a woman.  So, I do not know what men find so irritating in feminism.

It is a man's world out there.  I mean, gentlemen, you have won already.  We are your subjects. You are doms, and we are subs.  You build cars, to take us to a fancy date.  You manipulate by advertising, to motivate us to be skinny, which leads us to take that healthy lifestyle, avoiding carbs, cigarette and alcohol and go to the gym everyday.  You want us to be look more appealing so we can please you, that is why we follow trends and when it gets provocative you label us as "slut".  That is why Lily Allen is right...  It is hard out there for a bitch!

See, it is vicious cycle of sex battle, which I do not understand.  We try to cancel each other out because we are intolerant of each other's point of views.  The key to end this is respect.  Respect. Everybody has their own limits.   Even more, if you  yes you Mr. Poster) have your own education and you are very clear about what are you going to pursue and achieve, a man with big dreams, you should be open about anyone else's belief... if you really wanna survive and activate your goals.  Because there are so many new normals nowadays, or else you are going to be socially isolated.

And, sure for us ladies, this is only a sample when you meet a man who is incompatible from who you are.  It is going to be fine.  Not all men are like that.  There are still men out there who appreciate the goodness and voice of a woman.

For everyone, once in a while the battle between guys and girls will happen... and I am telling you that seriously, do not take it seriously (I mention the words twice), Although we are like fire and rain, cats and dogs, male and female are created to be attracted to each other... So, it will heal ... sometimes certain pleasure involved ;)

...isn't life great?


  1. Hai Ayu! Februari nanti tema blog saya adalah "Bulan Penuh Cinta", Apakah ayu mau membuatkan puisi untuk blog saya? Apabila mau, saya akan masukkan puisinya di "Hotmom Friends",

    Thanks Ayu!

    1. Wah boleh sekali Mbak! Okay nanti saya sertakan puisi saya di HotMom Friends ya :) Terimakasih


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