In Exile : Part 8

Part 8

I woke up on his bed, feeling cold and numb. He was still sleeping sound. I could see his bare muscular back heaving against the mattress. I took a moment to absorb. I cupped my face inside my palms. The breathing got heavy and turned into sob. Slowly and sure, it got even harder. I caught him humming, I did not want to wake him up. So I used the bathroom. I removed all of my clothing inside the shower. Layer by layer. Until it was only me and the trail of red coming from the bottom when I turned the water open. I rested and soaped my body thoroughly. But I knew nothing would be ever cleansed, except I learnt to let go. But this was soon to let go.

I took Jodie out for morning climb. He was trying to cheer me up and jogging beside me. 

"Jodie," I brushed his silky and shiny brown fur when he was tired and resting against my lap. My body started to ache so I decided to rest and stop. I avoided the park bench and choose the grass instead. My muscles were all sore. No men were climbing up. I was always the earliest person to arrive at the hill.

Until I heard some steps from behind. Panting and foot sounds. Rush surpassed me as he jogged. I was not sure if he tried to skip me or his attention was diverted. But, seeing him caused a hurt and anger. He must had noticed me from behind. If I am not the only woman here, then who else?

Until Jodie barked and barked as if he noticed the connection of emotion that I shared. So loud until Rush turned his head to us. Jodie raised from my lap and continued to walk further, towards Rush who stood there immobile. Only watching. Jodie's bark turned into gnarl. Something violent. Something spitting.

"What are you gonna do, stupid shit?! Bite me?" Rush opened his arms from afar, stupidly challenging Jordie. When Jordie was about to run in fury, I held his restraint fast and tight.

"C'mon boy, let's go home."


Rush was still having his gut to invite me for discussion amongst the other men. I sat on the front seat at the edge, where everyone could see my face clearly with flat expression. I was not hiding the fact that I was not interested in the conversation. I flipped my arms on my chest and looking around anywhere, but not at Rush who was pointing at a map he bent on the table.

"One buyer from Guam, he is going to meet us somewhere near Byblos. It is a clearance, he is going to buy our armstocks... All of them." The men cheered but I did not listen until he turned at me and asked. "Are you ready for this?"

"You mean who? Me?"
"Yes? Who else?"
"I don't know Rush," I got up. "I don't think you will need my ass for this one."

I left with knowing that I knew that I had made him extremely upset. So he chased me. The door was slammed as I entered the kitchen and his hand was on my shoulder and my body turned.

"What is your problem?" he gnarled
"What is your problem?" I pushed him away. Then, we stared to each other for a while. Sending unstated rage.
"You are still my prisoner." he said. "No matter what you have been through here, you are nothing without my mercy."
"Oh, is that true?" I drew my face closer to him. I could see his eyes widening at me and his breathing turned heavy. "Am I a weaker man to you?"
He dragged my arm to his side, but I tried my best to release. I was not ready for any slight physical contact. I quickly and involuntarily resisted. When that happened, when his skin met mind, my heart ran faster like there was an attack. And he knew it. He could look through me. So he kept pushing me to my limit. He touched, and I walked back. Touch, walk back. Until I found the wall was behind me and there was the dead end. I thought the slap that I fired across his cheek would intimidate him, but it was otherwise. He blew punch, twice as hard as my slap, on my stomach. I grunted. I was the weaker man, mentally and physically. But I could not help to fight back by throwing free kicks and punches to the air. I missed him. But one punch I threw, landed onto his temple and cause him to bleed. I was not hitting him with my bare hand alone. There was something metal solid in my hand. A handgun I found on the coffee table next to me. He took few steps back whilst grunting in hurt. The next second, he glanced at me. More like glaring.
"You never apologize to me!" I shouted. I could feel the blood that rushed underneath my skin. That moment I couldn't contained any longer. But I stood where I was. Watching him as he moved towards me. Taking off the gun of my hand and dropped it onto the ground and then kicking it  For a second he rubbed my hand. We were palm to palm. There I was watching his stare consumed my body. He placed his hand on my waist and just like a command he said. "I do not have to do this the hard way right?"
I did not know what made me comply. Maybe it was fear that sent the jolt across my body. So I undressed. The last thing I wish was him, to be at his gentlest and then I followed him wherever, whatever task he was going.


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