... All those white dresses...

Good Morning Earthlings,

It is a nice sunny Sunday and I am writing this post sweating. I just came back from my morning visit to the local market. I bought myself some grapes...lots of them and some mangoes. 

Lately, I have been seeing many of my friends are making lifetime decisions in their lives, which is getting married. I am truly happy for them. They are now taking their lives into a next, sacred step. They are making something in their lives, which got me thinking a lot... what am I doing with my life?

Of course, I have a good job for a start and I am always thankful for that. Because without hardwork and luck, I won't be able to do this. I will be sitting on a couch, serving myself a bucket of cold rocky road ice cream and do nothing whilst reading social media updates of my friends making meaningful things in their lives... which will be very miserable for me.

I don't always, and I never measure a girl's worthiest value by marriage. I mean in my own definition getting a job, having your further education, writing a book, recording an album, performing a spiritual pilgrimage, making the most out of your personal interests are just as equivalent as getting hitched.

That is the thing that a boy and a girl should know and understand before they are jumping to a big decision.

Thankfully, out of all of my friends who are getting married and who are married, they are married because of love. Because they want to and they don't get married by any pressure. Marriage is something that they want to do, and I am proud of every single of them.

But some people are just very submissive to the idea of marriage. They think of marriage as a solution to end their routine they just can no longer bear. I have this one friend, who posts a status, and it triggers me to comment so bad. She was asking about how does it feel like being a student and a housewife at the same time.

I am like... Oh, honey....

I know as a student, studying can be very stressful and boring. Sometimes, you just want to get over it. And now since the graduation date is getting closer, and you probably feels like not giving a shit, but you have to anyway, about what are you going to do next which is can be even more frustrating itself. As a young woman and a fresh graduate, I understand that. It feels nice sometimes thinking all you can do is sitting in your house, only taking care of your future husband and children and no longer doing your assignment. You do not have to worry about finance because you will receive full support from your husband. You think so? Isn't it nice? Right right?


If you still have a mindset that way, I swear to God, we do not need a gender revolution. All women can just stay at their houses, pleasing their husbands emotionally and sexually, being a complete submissive to them.

That is why, nowadays, you find a lot of women are not happy with their marriages. Because they tend to have no control of what they want to do. Let's say if a wife is staying somewhere far from her hometown to follow her husband, and she is not happy by the way she is treated and demand a divorce. I bet her husband will just laugh and say, "Where would you go, honey? All you have is me. Your money is mine, your friends are here because of my connection." 

Trust me this happens a lot and true.

Being emotionally hurt is not the worst thing, but how about when your partner turns violent and starts to beat you? That's when domestic abuse starts, and if this thing keeps going on. There, you have a complete broken foundation of family. 

I don't claim myself as a feminist. I need to explain that this situation might happened to men as well. Breadwinner can be anyone.

But, just remind yourself, whatever you do... you have to stand on your feet. No matter how beautiful, truthful your vow is, and how complementing your relationship is... I mean, I don't suggest a bitter advice, but life is still life. You have to stand upon your own feet no matter what. For those students, you have a good education anyway, so you don't want to throw that away....

Being hopeless romantic is okay, I am a hopeless romantic. I always have a vision what should my wedding be like. The band, the food, the guests... but respect yourself before you are making a serious decision. You don't want to turn into literally hopeless, do you?


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