My Life As a Celebrative Person

Hi! This is my first posting in July. Internet unavailability and improper connection keeps me from updating constantly into my blog, which is very unfortunate. I was supposed to send this piece to an online writing community as a participation of a weekly contest called "My Life As..." which was basically about story-telling of what we would like to become. The moment I gain my inspiration to write, I find out that the contest was actually closed, weeks ago. Well, I am going to write what is in  my mind before it goes fading. I don't mind. By the way, there have been many things going on since this 10 days or so, but I am going to write few things
What celebrate means? I don't like being happy, but I like the feeling of celebration. For me, celebration is the complete happiness and thankfulness of things in life. However, I feel like not being celebrating enough about my life. I complaint to my friend about how my mother took over my graduation, then I remembered that previously my mother took over my prom dress as well. God knows, what my wedding dress would look like! I thought that my mother is kind of overcontrolling, like other mothers, she is not the only one I suppose. That is normal. But, why it gets to be so annoying? Although I realize how annoying it is to be overcontrolled by someone or something, I always stay silent. Maybe, because I don't really mind to be controlled. Maybe, I need to be controlled. Maybe that's because I cannot control things on my own. Maybe, its not because I cannot, the timing and the intention do not match somehow. I don't know. I think I have listed out so many 'maybe's and uncertainty in this paragraph.
I realize I do not celebrate my life enough. I am a timid, closeted person. If I am celebrative, I would have initiated everything in my mind. I would have attained the idea of how my dress should look like. But why cannot I? Because I don't feel like celebrating. As simple as that, and why do I feel it?
There are many things that make me avoiding celebration, many reasons and excuses, many 'for what's in my mind. Maybe because I have not being thankful enough about what I have achieved so far. I always thought that everyone is always ahead of me and better than me. But, actually, it is not always like that. I forget how equal human are.
I have be grateful that I have finished my degree within three years only and I am graduating on time. I have to be reminded that studying abroad is a rare chance of opportunity. I have to be grateful that I have secured a working placement. Things may have gone differently from what I am expecting, problem might come and go, and added, there are always rejection but then I remember I am not the only one who is facing many problems. People have their own problems too. The expression has been familiar but now I am fully understand it after what I have been through recently. They do have their own problem to solve with many different kind of circumstances.

At least, nothing is not enough about my basic needs, I still have home and family to return and enough food to eat. I want to stay celebrated about my life just all that.

And you should too.


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